Second Date

Back in the day, any thoughts about "the second date" were secondary, if we had them at all! Meeting people wasn't as difficult as it might be today, and we were a lot less concerned about finding that right person. Whoever - and whatever - came along, came along! Just going with the flow was a lot easier in our younger days.

But now that we're into mature dating, we should be just a bit more methodical, without taking the "thrill of the hunt" out of it. So once we do meet someone, what should we be thinking about?

Go On a Second Date

  • Keep fresh that list of qualities and characteristics we're looking for; how does this person measure up?
  • The first date doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive; meeting for coffee or a drink can be a good starting point and can relieve a lot of first date pressure and jitters. And save some of that meaningful conversation for the second date!
  • It's important to give the first couple of dates a fair chance, but it likely doesn't take long to determine if the chemistry is there for both partners, or if there are some insurmountable hurdles; we can't be afraid to move on if we need to.
  • After the first few dates and each has a sense about the other person, we shouldn't be afraid to talk about where and how things are going; it might be the first good test to try our communication skills, since a real relationship will need lots of that.
  • We know that it's OK to be meeting more than one person starting out, and to be honest about that with each of the people we're meeting; becoming exclusive is a mutual decision made later.
  • When we feel that a partner may have some potential, it's good to introduce that person to friends, family, and other social settings to get a feel for their comfort level and how they relate with others.
  • Spending any time with the children of either partner is best reserved for later in the relationship, after each partner is comfortable with where things seem to be heading; it's also a way of avoiding premature expectations (or fears) from children.
  • Advice from family and friends can be helpful, particularly if they have met our partner at least once, but only we know what truly does and does not work for us; at the end of the day, we need to make our own relationship decisions.

The bottom line - mature dating should still be fun! Finding a relationship with the right person should never be so business-like and stressful that we don't enjoy our time along the way. Even when things don't work out, we want to honestly say, "Hey, I enjoyed meeting you!"

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