Back in the day, any thoughts about "the second date" were secondary,
if we had them at all! Meeting people wasn't as difficult as it might
be today, and we were a lot less concerned about finding that right
person. Whoever - and whatever - came along, came along! Just going
with the flow was a lot easier in our younger days.
But now that
we're into mature dating, we should be just a bit more methodical,
without taking the "thrill of the hunt" out of it. So once we do meet
someone, what should we be thinking about?
Go On a Second Date
- Keep fresh that list of qualities and characteristics we're looking for; how does this person measure up?
- The first date doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive;
meeting for coffee or a drink can be a good starting point and can
relieve a lot of first date pressure and jitters. And save some of that
meaningful conversation for the second date!
important to give the first couple of dates a fair chance, but it
likely doesn't take long to determine if the chemistry is there for both
partners, or if there are some insurmountable hurdles; we can't be
afraid to move on if we need to.
- After the first
few dates and each has a sense about the other person, we shouldn't be
afraid to talk about where and how things are going; it might be the
first good test to try our communication skills, since a real
relationship will need lots of that.
- We know that
it's OK to be meeting more than one person starting out, and to be
honest about that with each of the people we're meeting; becoming
exclusive is a mutual decision made later.
- When we
feel that a partner may have some potential, it's good to introduce
that person to friends, family, and other social settings to get a feel
for their comfort level and how they relate with others.
any time with the children of either partner is best reserved for later
in the relationship, after each partner is comfortable with where
things seem to be heading; it's also a way of avoiding premature
expectations (or fears) from children.
- Advice from
family and friends can be helpful, particularly if they have met our
partner at least once, but only we know what truly does and does not
work for us; at the end of the day, we need to make our own relationship
The bottom line - mature dating should
still be fun! Finding a relationship with the right person should never
be so business-like and stressful that we don't enjoy our time along the
way. Even when things don't work out, we want to honestly say, "Hey, I
enjoyed meeting you!"